3 years back to back

Hari ini, looking back to 3 years behind, perjalanan hidup gw lucu deh. Belum pernah diceritain secara menyeluruh and I thought I want to share it now. Semoga jadinya ga kepanjangan yah blogpostnya ^^ Berawal di tahun 2023, gw kepingin kembali pulang. Gw ga bisa ceritain secara spesifik kenapa dan alasan gw untuk kepingin pulang. …

reflect & realise

Looking back last year This was the month when I am depressed And finally gets professional help To untied all the crowded mind in head And empty feels at heart “you need to figuring out whats make you feel hard” “you need to change things that gives burden to you” “you need to analyses deeper …

[…..]

It’s been a long time I never have such feeling Strong, yet confusing Of how I felt for you                 For you, I am nothing                 Who will always put a smile                 Whenever you say Hi                 After months being ignored I am mad at you For taking me for granted, many times But …

Kalibrasi mindset

Studi psikologi ada yang mengatakan “bagaimana persepsi kita terhadap pernikahan akan mengacu pada bagaimana kita sebagai seorang anak melihat pola orangtua kita”. If that is the case; selama ini gw melihat pernikahan orangtua gw harmonis, jarang keliatan berantemnya. Meski ada momen nyokap lagi ngambek, atau bokap lagi kesel, tapi dirumah tidak pernah ada kedengeran saling …

A once in a while friend

Hai!Do you remember the time we talked about "why we always have back and forth connection-communication back then?"And eventually we ended up blaming each other because of "you ghosted me, mas. No replies and that was it"; and you'll say it's because of me that occupied with someone else. We laughed about it; that was …

it’s always if you put it dat way for us.

i never thought sharing playlist together lingers like this. i know, songs can mess your amygdala so much; recalling memories and all. what we did was just creating something beautiful; compilation of songs we loved together a playlist we keep listens everytime we are together, on the car, on the phone, basically everyday. we have …

the avoidant vs the anxious

for so many times i don't understand why Dhi always seems to pull away every time we had those intimate moments. for every deep talk, every vulnerability that we shared, he pulled away afterwards. i just realized this is the pattern he builds this whole time. Ever since i knew that i had an anxious …

I’m (finally) doing fine

hai! mau update cerita kehidupan sedikit aaah #anjay; jadi semakin kesini, hari-hari serasa makin ringan langkahnya. pikirannya. hatinya. udah mulai di kasih kelegaan hati, rasanya. jadi sekarang lagi ngejar bisa submit mini thesis yang terbengkalai dari kemarin itu. dengan drama kumbara gonta ganti dospem, ini adalah dospem gw yang ke-3 :). And the good part …

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haloo Erika, apa kabarmu hari ini? memang prosesnya masih ups and downs yah rik, kadang bisa merasa baik-baik saja semuanya, kadang ada rasa yang tiba-tiba membuncah tau-tau keluar aja airmatanya. Iya, semua proses ini masih terasa berat, ada kalanya hati masih bergejolak~ sabar yah rik.. semoga semua rasa sedih itu, rasa kangen itu, bisa segera …

dear erika,

dear erika, saat kamu tulis ini, hatimu lagi hancur berkeping-keping. sudah lama sekali ga ngerasain sakitnya jatuh. siapa sangka diumur kamu yang 42 tahun ini dikasih kesempatan begitu dalamnya memendam rasa terhadap seseorang? dear erika, saat ini kamu sedang berjuang untuk bisa bangkit lagi dan berjalan lagi, sendiri. tidak ada lagi seseorang yang kamu cari …